Victim Mentality

People ask…and I don’t know why? Maybe they don’t understand. Or maybe it’s me. I don’t get “victim mentality”…Nobody has said I have a “victim mentality” but I have heard others accused of it.  Isn’t it just a label for people to put on others? We’re all dealing with our loads of crud the best we can, aren’t we, whether we approve of how the other person is shouldering his/her own load or not…right?

I never did see myself as a victim. I still don’t see myself as a victim. Until recently I thought I had all the power in the world.

I had the power ~ if I would just accept Jesus Christ as my personal saviour everything would change.

If I would just be a better Christian, everything would change.

If I would be a totally submissive wife and give up my personhood, everything would change.

If I were a would control my feelings, everything would change.

If I were a sexy bomb, everything would change.

If I didn’t bother him with my problems, everything would change.

If I supported him more, everything would change.

If I just let him do what he wanted, everything would change.

If I would just do everything, everything would change. 

If I didn’t ask for clothes or personal needs, everything would change.

If I gave up all my desires, everything would change.

 

When I was a child…

If I would just be quiet, nothing bad would happen.

If I didn’t ask for the things I wanted or needed, maybe she wouldn’t yell at me.

If I hid under the bed, maybe they wouldn’t find me.

If I hid away from the house, maybe I wouldn’t get hit.

If I didn’t think about how hungry I was, my stomach wouldn’t hurt so badly.

If I didn’t call the tavern, she would come home sooner.

 

See…I had all the power in the world! If I were only stronger…more disciplined…more perfect…less willful…more obedient…compliant…less selfish…everything would have changed. I just wasn’t good enough at any of those things or everything would have been better.

Right?

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